"I'm Not Who I Was" by Brandon Heath is one of those songs that I can relate to in a way that I become a little paranoid thinking, maybe the song writer was spying on my life! How many times have I wanted to show off my life to all the people I used to know? In my mind I like to pretend that I meet old peers from my junior school, my old teachers, people from our old churches or anyone I used to know, and I show them that I'm not who I was.
Did you see my transcripts? Look at how many cool friends I have now! Listen to all the places I've been!
Okay I'll admit, sometimes I get a bit carried away and immature thinking about boasting to them saying, "Look at me! Look at me now! Ha ha BOOYAH!" But then I have to punish my thoughts with a slap and remember to praise God for the changes He has made in my life. Without Him, I would still be who I was. Some days it's hard to look back through my old journals or photographs of myself. Sometimes I don't believe that's who I was. At times it can be humourous, "What on earth was I wearing?" Other times it's painful, "How could I think that? Why would I do that?" Often it can be like watching a horror film with an alternate ending. I can see myself opening the closet with the murderer inside, but at the same time I know that I'm going to live because I will be saved.
It's then that I realise how fragile and complex human life is and how even more intricate are God's ways with humanity. He too is watching the horror film. He knows I am going to open the closet with the murderer inside, but He also knows that He can save me, if I surrender to Him. I have and I'm glad because now I'm not who I was.
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